I've been here. Except not. In an effort to understand myself better, I've taken some time off of here and most of the socials (except for Instagram because I talk to myself in stories, it's free therapy ha)
Last week, I had a conversation with a stranger and it showed me that my self esteem is still very much a mess from 6 years ago, which led me to do an emotional deep dive...and think about what's healthy and unhealthy for me.
What happened over the last 6 years hasn't been my fault: not the pandemic, not the infidelity, not Hurricane Helene, or my mentor's health issues, or my own health issues last Fall. But the way I've reacted to any and all of it has been so unhealthy, and I need to own that.
So, little by little, I'm doing more of the things that I love and putting order to my emotions, and my house, and my life. It's been a lot of saying "no" to things and people and places. It's been a lot of saying "no" to myself. too.
Slowly but surely I am getting to where I need to be. I should be back on Sunday with my weekly picture post, and on Monday with Happy Homemaker Monday, and maybe one day a recipe or something fun. It's hard to create when you're living in survival mode, but I'm determined to leave that mode behind.
I just wanted to tell everybody I'm not pulling a disappearing act. I'm still here. I'm just processing.
Meanwhile, enjoy these pictures of flowers from the past few weeks.
I love the way you said that, that you love putting order to your emotions, house and life. I feel that very deeply! Like you I took some time away, which blogger is the only 'social media' that I have, but when I look at Youtube and things like that I tend to lose myself in it a little bit. I've been doing some neuroplasticity studies and the word 'baseline' has been used a lot- so that's me, trying to get back to baseline.
ReplyDeleteToday was nice jumping back into blogworld, and refollowing friends (sometimes I'm like a crazy person and delete my blog and everything to take a break lol) but I agree, I haven't responded well to some things, and today you spoke to my heart. Thank you for sharing! I'll be here catching up and praying for you, and hopefully taking time to deep dive for myself!